I haven't spoken to my best friend in four days. We've kind of had a fight and I'm not even sure what it was all about. Rest assured, it was about something incredibly dumb and stupid..
Apart from that, my sister had her baby. I'm now an aunt. It's an incredible feeling, especially when you know you're going to be such a central figure in this child's life, that you're going to be around long enough to get close to him and know him and watch him grow up and take in everything there is to in life. I have an inkling into how much a mom really cares about her child after watching my sister...and if I,as an aunt, can feel so strongly protective about him and love him so..then she must want to jump into fire for him...I love this kid like I haven't loved anybody before. How much, how very deeply, I care about my sister, can only be eclipsed by the love I carry for her child, her beautiful baby boy. I hope he knows how much this aunt cares about him, and that I get to be there for him as he grows up...as I know I want to be...
I love my little nephew, and apart from that life is amazing in general, but...I don't know...for the past couple of days, I've just been high strung as anything. It's been one of those periods where everything just seems bleaker than it would on any other day. Everything and anything sets me off. Sad songs make my eyes fill up. Happy endings make me cry. A kiss between two people who love each other in a book or a movie makes me cry. Sentimental talk and looking at my little nephew makes me cry. I've just been really,absurdly high strung...!..
I'm such an idiot.
I guess it's just...I haven't talked to my best friend in so long and everybody else is busy with their own summer plans and I don't have anybody to talk to lately, except for when I talk to baby Z when I'm allowed to have him in my arms (only twice so far,and barely for ten seconds both times. He's in high demand right now, the grandparents won't let him go long enough for me to spend any time with him) and I'm just feeling pretty let down with all the silence and keeping my thoughts bottled up inside my head for so long and not being able to talk to anybody.
College orientation on the second of september...and classes start on the seventh..I'm praying everything goes okay...I just want to fit in, and gel with a crowd and be a part of something that'll bring me much happiness. It is one thousand, four hundred and sixty days of my life, after all. Out of a possible thirty to forty thousand..I want to make sure I spend the time well!
Apart from that, my sister had her baby. I'm now an aunt. It's an incredible feeling, especially when you know you're going to be such a central figure in this child's life, that you're going to be around long enough to get close to him and know him and watch him grow up and take in everything there is to in life. I have an inkling into how much a mom really cares about her child after watching my sister...and if I,as an aunt, can feel so strongly protective about him and love him so..then she must want to jump into fire for him...I love this kid like I haven't loved anybody before. How much, how very deeply, I care about my sister, can only be eclipsed by the love I carry for her child, her beautiful baby boy. I hope he knows how much this aunt cares about him, and that I get to be there for him as he grows up...as I know I want to be...
I love my little nephew, and apart from that life is amazing in general, but...I don't know...for the past couple of days, I've just been high strung as anything. It's been one of those periods where everything just seems bleaker than it would on any other day. Everything and anything sets me off. Sad songs make my eyes fill up. Happy endings make me cry. A kiss between two people who love each other in a book or a movie makes me cry. Sentimental talk and looking at my little nephew makes me cry. I've just been really,absurdly high strung...!..
I'm such an idiot.
I guess it's just...I haven't talked to my best friend in so long and everybody else is busy with their own summer plans and I don't have anybody to talk to lately, except for when I talk to baby Z when I'm allowed to have him in my arms (only twice so far,and barely for ten seconds both times. He's in high demand right now, the grandparents won't let him go long enough for me to spend any time with him) and I'm just feeling pretty let down with all the silence and keeping my thoughts bottled up inside my head for so long and not being able to talk to anybody.
College orientation on the second of september...and classes start on the seventh..I'm praying everything goes okay...I just want to fit in, and gel with a crowd and be a part of something that'll bring me much happiness. It is one thousand, four hundred and sixty days of my life, after all. Out of a possible thirty to forty thousand..I want to make sure I spend the time well!
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