MY blog. MY safehouse

I'm going to change my URL in a weeks time. telling everybody beforehand so that if i disappear off the face of the earth, you don't assume i died a virtual death or anything! i had to change it because a friend of mine...THE friend,as a matter of fact,who i mentioned in my last blog, may or may not have read this blog and gotten upset. Odds are,she has, and she is, because in her facebook status, she's ranting about a bitchy two faced friend who she can't believe she trusted. i think it's safe to assume, she meant me.

here's the thing,

i love her to death.she's an amazing friend of mine,and i would cross mountains for her.

and she kind of KNOWS all that stuff i said.i've said it to her, 'you need therapy, guy therapy' about a thousand times a day. she knows it

But that's who she is. And I love her despite that. But sometime she gets up my skin because the one thing i hate more than anything else in the world, is a person who uses other people.

And she does do that. Probably unintentionally, but she does!! and I admit, I get pissed off !

And she knows it. But I know now you don't write about friends. Even if it's on an anonymous blog where the biggest lead people have about you is your nationality. I wanted to start a blog so that people wouldn't judge me because of who I've been,or what I may have done in the past. I want people to be objective.

That will never happen if people find out about this blog and hold my honest opinions against me. I think I should just stop writing altogether. I hurt a friend accidentally, never dreaming she would a) read this, or b) get mad because i wrote it. I was stupid. i AM stupid.

I have nowhere to speak my mind. Not a blog, that i wanted to be private or personal, not a journal...nothing. Where do i turn to when i feel so consumed with my own problems, i feel like i'll explode if i don't wash out the hurt somehow. for me, that somehow is writing about it.

and oddly enough, i feel like its being taken away from me.